Brian reached for his camera, lying on the floor beside them, and pointed it up toward her face. “I want to remember what you look like while I’m inside you.”
Rachel wiped tears from her eyes as she watched her daughter enter the wedding reception with her new husband. White organza and string lights, draped from wooden beams on the ceiling, created the illusion of being inside a tent on a starry night. Each table was accented with mismatched green and amber glassware that complimented white roses, chamomile, and eucalyptus centerpieces. The fresh florals and greenery filled the room with their fragrance. All of her hard work was on display in front of her eyes, and she relished the guests’ praise of her daughter, and the event, that she had labored to make so perfect. The couple glowed with happiness, and she felt so proud that, not only had she raised such an amazing woman, but she had also planned a wedding that went off without a hitch.
After checking on the hors d’oeuvres, Rachel scanned the room, full of smiles and laughter, and noticed her new son in law being congratulated by someone she hadn’t seen in a very long time. His name was Brian, and though they had been childhood friends, she hadn’t expected to see him here. Her lungs filled with air, which she held for longer than was comfortable, as she thought about the last time she saw him and the secret they shared.
They’d attended the same community college after high school. Most of the campus population was made up of nontraditional students who dressed formally, as if they were about to begin their first job, not spend the afternoon listening to lectures from tired professors. Rachel was focused on school and had no time for anything else. She wasn’t the type of girl who went to parties or stayed out late. She didn’t drink or do drugs, and she certainly wasn’t interested in sex. She was driven, and those things would get in the way. Brian was studying to be a photographer back then, and she remembered how embarrassed he had looked when he came to her with a problem.
“I need a model,” he told her.
“A model for what?”
Brian blushed and avoided eye contact with her.
“It’s a figure studies assignment for my photography class. I’m supposed to capture the human form.”
“What does that mean?”
“I have to take nude photos that explore the human body… in an artistic way.”
Rachel’s eyes widened with understanding. Brian looked as though he would die of shame even discussing this with her, but he was clearly at a loss for what to do. He needed her advice. How was he going to approach anyone with a request like that?
“I’ll do it,” Rachel said. “I’ll help you.”
“…are… are you sure?” He must’ve been shocked that she would agree to be photographed naked when doing so would require her to be naked, and alone, with him. They’d only ever been friends. Nothing more.
“Of course, Brian. We’ve known each other forever. I trust you.”
“Ok… um, that’s great, yeah. We can do it at my parent’s place. They put it up for sale a few weeks ago. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind us using it.”
The following afternoon Rachel began to feel some reluctance as she pulled up to Brian’s parents’ house. Taking naked pictures was something she never imagined she’d do, but Brian was her friend and he was relying on her to help him. He was a good photographer, truly talented. It would be a shame if he failed his assignment just because he couldn’t find a model. He needed her, and it was too late to back out now.
The house was larger than she remembered from their childhood, nestled on the edge of a cliff above a private beach. He was waiting for her on the front porch, and for the first time, she noticed that he was handsome. He was barefoot, and wearing a white linen button down shirt and khakis. He certainly looked the part of a beach photographer, leaning against the front door with his arms crossed in front of him. He smiled and shook his head, as he watched her lock her car, most likely because there was no one around for miles. She could taste the salt on the breeze as it whipped around her hair. Delicate tendrils of ivy and wisteria cascaded down the front of the house, and their scent was intoxicating.
“Come on in,” Brain said, as she climbed the steps. He held the door open for her, and followed her into the living room, which was already professionally staged with backdrops, lights, and camera equipment. Sea air billowed linen curtains, and soft, natural light shown through floor to ceiling windows that completely covered the back wall. Rachel could hear the sound of waves crashing below. The house was completely empty of furniture, except for a chaise lounge with a white blanket draped across the back. Brian looked around awkwardly, not knowing how to proceed. Seeing how nervous he was made Rachel feel more comfortable.
“Should I take my clothes off now?” she teasingly asked him. He blushed and chuckled with her at the awkwardness of the situation.
“There’s a robe in the bathroom you can change into.”
Rachel felt a thrill as she removed her clothes and let them fall onto the marble floor. She was surprised at herself. She was about to be naked in front of a man for the first time, and this man wasn’t going to be her husband. She and Brian had attended the same church, whose parishioners would certainly frown on the idea of what they were about to do. What would her parents say if they ever found out? It was terrifying… and it was exciting. She had butterflies in her stomach as she slid the silk robe over her shoulders and wrapped it around her naked body. Her skin flushed with goosebumps and her hard nipples were clearly visible beneath the thin fabric. The room was sultry and humid; but Brian shivered as she opened the door and stepped out in the robe.
“Where do you want me?” she asked, smiling up at him innocently.
“Um…,” he hesitated for a moment. “Why don’t you stand over here?” He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the window. He instructed her on how she should pose and said, “You can remove the robe whenever you’re ready.” Brian turned his back while Rachel tossed the robe to the side of the room, and draped the front of her body with the curtains, as he had instructed. Brian timidly approached her and apologized as he touched her wrist and her chin in order to position them in the light. She noticed that beads of sweat were beginning to form across his hairline as he stood behind the camera, and began to take shots of her breasts. At moments he was so close she could feel his breath on her skin. It gently stirred the strands of her hair. His hand trembled as he handed her a brittle starfish and instructed her to hold it just above her belly button. Rachel soaked up all of the attention he was giving her, and she began to feel graceful in a way she never had before. She surprised herself as she suddenly wished that the beach below the windows wasn’t deserted.
“Can you go lie down on the couch next?” he asked. He avoided looking at her while she walked across the room toward the chaise lounge, but stole glances at every inch of her as she positioned herself on her back. His knuckles brushed against her inner thigh as he draped a cashmere blanket between her legs. He paused above her at the sensation, and noticed her eyes watching him, expectantly.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, shyly.
Rachel took his hand and placed it firmly on her thigh, her heart pounding in her ears. He lowered himself down onto the couch beside her, and her knees widened inviting his fingers to explore her body, beneath the cashmere. She closed her eyes and sighed at the sensation of the warmth of his hands and the soft fabric caressing her. He watched her face intently while he gently slid his fingers inside of her. Rachel arched her back and tilted her hips with the rhythm of the waves crashing against the rugged, rocky shore below. The room, with its backdrops and all the camera equipment, faded away until all she could feel, hear, and see was Brian. His tanned skin, full lips and green eyes, that she never noticed before now. His hot breath and warm, wet tongue in her ear.
“I never imagined we’d be doing this.” Neither did she. This wasn’t her. She was some other woman, invented by the lens he saw her through. She was daring, confident, and reckless. He trailed passionate kisses across her face and down her neck. She moaned into his shoulder as her pleasure began to build, and clawed at his chest in an attempt to remove his shirt. She wanted more of him, and she wanted more of this new side of herself she didn’t know was there. How far would it take her?
“Take your clothes off and let me look at you now.”
Brian stood, removed his clothes, and lay on top of her. The weight of his body filled her with anticipation. He placed his palm gently against her cheek and asked her if she was sure that this was what she wanted. She felt a thrum of panic and excitement explode inside her chest as she wrapped her hand around his erection and guided him to her entrance. His arms embraced her, and every nerve of their bodies melted into a comfortable easiness with each thrust that felt so familiar it was as if they had always been connected to this part of themselves. The friction of his skin and the cashmere between their bodies was soft and rough at the same time, like grains of wet sand cascading through her fingers.
“Rachel,” he whispered in her ear, his cheek hot against hers, “I wish I could capture everything about this moment.” He slid his arm beneath her, and in one fluid motion, turned their bodies on the couch so that she was positioned on top of him. She straightened herself above him and watched his eyes admire her power over him as she rolled her hips. As she listened to his moans and sighs, Rachel felt herself nearing the edge, unsure of what would happen if she allowed herself to fall over it. Brian reached for his camera lying on the floor beside them, and pointed it up toward her face. “I want to remember what you look like while I’m inside you.” She tumbled over the cliff of her pleasure. He followed her at the same time, snapping frame after frame of her breathless release.
She wondered if he still had those pictures and if he still looked at them after all these years. If he did, they were certainly pictures of someone who never existed outside that afternoon. Rachel and Brian had gone back to their lives, as if their beachside photography session had never taken place. It was a secret they would always share, each one of them returning to their own paths and goals in life.
Rachel’s husband wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her cheek. Brian watched them from across the room. His stare penetrated her and she could tell he was thinking of their secret, just as she was. “You’re so beautiful,” he said in her ear, and she knew Brian still thought so too.
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